Ideas For The New Style
So, as you may have noticed, we have switched art styles from standard Webcomic to Photocomic. It was a necessary change but it does leave me with a dilemma… I can’t use a ton of my scripts. Some of my best ideas don’t work (or would cost FAR too much in costuming) as a Photocomic. So, I’d like to ask YOU what you’d think would work in this new style. Where would you like to see Jordan and Josh go from here? In exchange, I’d like to share my craziest arc that will probably never get made. Seriously, it’s nuts!
Without further ado…
The Chronicles of Joshua
Jordan: Hey, so you know how every once in a while you delete contacts from your phone list?
Jordan: And when you do, that person seems to vanish off the face of the earth?
Josh: What’s your point?
Jordan: You have no idea how true that is…
(Cut to scene of 1 week earlier)
Jordan: Hey James! Nice party, man.
James: Hey thanks, glad you could make it.
(Jordan and James reach for the last beer at the same time)
(Close up on Jordan’s face, eyes squinting, not happy)
(Shows Jordan’s phone that says “James Cell: Delete this contact now? (Yes) No.)
Jordan: Goodbye, James.
(Jordan clicks “yes” on his phone. James disappears)
(Jordan walks away happily drinking his beer)
(cut back to Josh and Jordan)
Josh: No effing way.
Josh: You’re an idiot. Don’t make up a load of crap, then pass it off like it’s the truth.
(Cut to Jordan’s close up face again, angry.)
Jordan: Goodbye, Josh.
(Jordan clicks and Josh disappears)
(Jordan’s phone buzzes and he opens it to read “Where the hell did you send me?”)
(Josh is in a snowy cave all alone, holding his phone, looking around)
Mr. Tumnus: Welcome to Narnia! (a skull and bones is next to one of the trees with the same Pot leaf shirt that James was wearing while Josh is standing underneath a lamp post surrounded by trees)
Josh: I REALLY hope this isn’t one of those episodes with multiple parts…
The Chronicles of Joshua part 2
Josh: Damn it!
Tumnus (Played by The New Guy): Oh my goodness! Are you…a human? Thank Aslan! We’re saved, it’s been prophesied that…
Josh (Interrupts by grabbing Tumnus’ red scarf and pulling him nose to nose): Alright you…whatever you are? What the hell is going on here and how did I get here and…well, where is here?
Tumnus: Why, I am but you’re humble servant, Mr. Tumnus, your Majesty and this is magical realm of Narnia, where an evil Snow-Witch looks to dominate the land made up of woodland creatures and mythical beast led by a Lion with strong Christian overtones.
Josh: Thank you Cliffs notes.
Tumnus: It’s Tumnus sir.
Josh: Ugh, never mind. So, how do I get out of here?
Tumnus: Out of Narnia? I didn’t know any place besides Narnia existed; let alone how to get there…but Aslan might.
Josh: Alright, take me to PAC MAN.
Tumnus: Well, I don’t know exactly where he is but I do know a Beaver who might. But we must be careful to avoid the White Witch, even some of the trees are on her side.
Josh: You are tripping balls, my friend.
(Josh and Tumnus walk off into the forest as the four children from the Narnia story show up at the Lamp post)
The youngest girl: (From a shot that gets all four of them looking a little scarred as wolves surround them from the woods.) Alright… we’re ready to start our adventure now? Hello! Is anybody there?
The Chronicles of Joshua part 3
Josh: Dear lord, it’s cold here. How can you stand living here on Hoth?
Tumnus: Hoth? I don’t know sir; it wasn’t always like this, before the White Witch came to power this land was warm and beautiful, I guess I’m just use to the cold now… and I am a bit furrier that you.
Josh: Yeah, that fur must be a big help when you live in Icecrown.
Beaver (2 beavers pop over a small pile of snow): We are so glad to finally meet you, my lord!
Josh (Josh stands in a sloppy kung-fu stance): Ah! Demon Rodents!
Tumnus: They’re not Demons, they’re Beavers in service of Aslan and they are here to help you.
Beaver: We’ll do anything to help you get to Aslan and save Narnia.
Josh: Good, I need two things. One, where can I find Aslan?
Beaver: Aslan has set up a camp to fight the White Witch East of here, past the Frozen Lake.
Josh: Great, and now two…you did say you would do anything to help me, right?
Beaver (The two beavers looking at each other nervously) : Yes…
Josh: Well, you see I am awful cold…
Josh: (Cuts to Josh wearing a Beaver skin hat and beaver skin cape while Tumnus is looking horrified and pale): Ah, much better…alright, east we go.
(Josh treks forward with a confidence and swagger as Tumnus looks back at the Beavers home…clearly questioning whether this is going to work out for the best.)
The Chronicles of Joshua part 4
New Guy Tumnus (Back in the office): Hey, where has Josh been, I haven’t seen him in like two days and his parents have been calling a lot?
Jordan: Oh, geez, his parents have been calling… uh, just tell them he died; tragically in a homoerotic exfixciation accident along with some dude named Marco he met in a Highway rest stop. That should take care of it.
NG: I doubt they will believe that?
Jordan: Why not? Other that the “Tragically” part, that all sounds pretty plausible to me. One second, I’m getting a call. Hello?
Josh: Hey Buddy
Jordan: Speak of the fruity devil, I’ve been…er, the New Guy has been worried about you, where are you?
Josh: Somewhere between Hobbiton and Mordor apparently.
Jordan: Sweet, bring me back the One Ring.
Josh: If I bring you anything, it will be the Horn of Gondor so I can shove it up your
Jordan (interrupting): Beep, darn call waiting, I have to take this.
Josh: What, no one calls you!?
Jordan: I know… I’m just hanging up on you.
Josh: Son of a
Tumnus (Interrupts): Shhhh, don’t talk like that, Father Christmas is coming
Santa (on his slay, pulled by reindeer): Ho, Ho, Ho
Josh (hand on face): No freaking way this is happening.
The Chronicles of Joshua part 5
Santa: Your Majesty, it’s an honor to meet the man who will save Narnia and hello Mr. Tumnus, have you two been good boys this year.
Tumnus: Well, I’ve tried to do the best I could.
Josh: You know it Santa!
Santa: Well that’s good to hear. Tumnus, I have your name right here on my ‘Nice’ list, so reach into the bag and you’ll get whatever your heart desires most.
Tumnus (reached into the bag): Oh boy, a sled, I’ve always wanted one of these.
Santa: And Josh, you’re not on my lists, undoubtedly because you’re not from Narnia, I’m sure you have been very good and deserve a gift to help you defeat the White Witch and defend our world.
Josh: Alright, a double-barreled Shotgun!
Santa: Oh my, that’s a very dangerous gift, be careful with that.
Josh: Naturally, so what else do I get?
Santa: Well, we have to save gifts for the rest of the little boys and girls.
Josh: No… I get that but you have to admit, it wasn’t a very strong move giving me a Shotgun and then telling me I couldn’t have the magical bag that gives me whatever I want.
Santa: You’re joking right?
(Josh smiles a guilty smile and shrugs, lazily aiming the Gun at Santa)
(Cuts to Tumnus and Josh riding the slay, Tumnus still holding his sled and Josh wearing Santa’s outfit)
Josh (Josh points the gun lazily towards Tumnus): Oh, and Tumnus
(Tumnus hands Josh his sled)
(Last shot shows the sled driving off into the distance while Santa sits on one side of the tracks mostly naked in the snow and the Beaver skin hat and cape lying on a snow pile on the other side of the tracks)
The Chronicles of Joshua part 6
Tumnus: We finally made it to Aslan’s Camp!
Josh: No thanks to the GPS function in my phone, lousy thing doesn’t get satellite coverage in Ferelden.
Josh: Yeah, there either.
(Shot of Aslan’s camp complete with; Mythical creatures and Centaurs)
Josh: Hey, I’ve always wondered something about Centaurs…
(A shot showing a young man acting shy while giving a pretty horse flowers)
Josh: Nevermind, I figured it out.
(Josh gets a funny look on his face for one whole shot while sitting next to Tumnus on the slay)
Josh: So if you’re part goat then…
Tumnus: Drop it
(The slay stops and Josh walks up to a tent set aside from the rest)
Josh: Wait, so how do I knock?
(Jesus comes out of the tent)
Jesus: Yeah, thought I’d drop the whole metaphor and just be Jesus
The Chronicles of Joshua part 7
Josh: Hey Jesus! Big fan! Is there any way I could get a photo with you?
(Tumnus holds the camera while Josh posses with Jesus)
Josh: I told Jordan you were real but that atheist d-bag doesn’t listen to reason.
Jesus: That’s not important right now, what’s important is that we, together, rally the troops to face the White Witch and save the lands from endless winter.
Josh: Absolutely! That sounds great; Big battle, Impossible odds, huge body count, certain death… but before we do all that, I was kinda hoping you would send me home.
Jesus: Home? But what of these creatures’ homes; The Griffons, Mr. Tumnus, the Beav…. Mr. Tumnus, think of their homes. Life can’t always be just about you, Josh. You have to think of others if you want others to think about you.
Josh: (fake smile) Yeah, I guess that makes sense but I’d still really rather sit this one out.
Jesus: (sigh) You, of course, must do what you think is best.
(Jesus and Tumnus start walking away, Tumnus looking more disappointed than Jesus. Tumnus picks up a sword and continues along with Jesus.)
Josh: Tum Tum is fighting?
(Josh sits and watches from near Jesus’ tent as the war party heads off into the distance to face the Witch)
The Chronicles of Joshua part 8
Shot 1 (And Epic shot showing the Massive armies’ of Jesus and the Witch with 2 small dots between them (Jesus and Tumnus))
Shot 2 (Jesus walks with purpose with Tumnus alongside him toward a wall of the Witches’ minions and the Witch on a Sled pulled by Polar Bears, her faces can’t be made out from this distance).
Shot 3 (Jesus pushes through a group of Minotaurs and other creatures to come face to face with the White Witch (who will be played by none other than Jordan, dressed like the villain from the movie))
Jesus: Surrender Witch, and spare the lives of your Soldiers
Jordan…the Witch: Spare them?! Ha, I enjoy watching them die. Minion! What do I call Tuesdays?
Dwarf that looks a bit like Tim Cruise: Murder my own soldiers Tuesdays
Witch: Murder my own Soldiers Tuesdays! (The Witch then stabs the Dwarf with the wand that turns people to stone)
Witch: (With the now Stone Tim Dwarf next to him) Did you really think I was going to be reasonable?!
Tumnus (to Jesus who nods in agreement): …battle stations then?
(Jesus and Tumnus rejoin the army)
Tumnus: Great, now what do we do? There are three times as many of them as us.
Jesus: Have Faith.
Tumnus: Faith is all well and good but we need a plan
Josh: (Josh is dressed up in the same type of armor that Jesus’ army is wearing but he has the Shotgun from earlier and Tumnus’ red scarf tied on his head like Rambo): I have a plan.
The Chronicles of Joshua part 9
Tumnus: Glad you could join us
Josh: I couldn’t let you get all the glory, could I?
Josh: Gryphons! You provide air support. Woodland Creatures! You will move to flank them once we’ve broken through. Centaurs! You’re with me. Alright… at my signal, unleash hell!
Josh: (Start of a new panel) He he, I always wanted to say that.
Tumnus: Good luck, friend
Jesus: We have you’re back.
Jesus: (New panel, Jesus does a strange stance and starts to glow) Jesus Powers, Activate! Form of, Lion.
(The Three Champions stand together; Jesus is now a Lion and Josh Climbing onto a Centaur)
Tumnus: Do you think we can do this?
Josh: Are you kidding, with Mufasa on our side, we can’t lose.
(Cuts to The Witch with her army)
Witch (The Stone Tim Dwarf still in the shot): Alright you Dogs! The beast that brings me the Lion’s head will not be tortured this week…well, they will get less tortured anyway.
Minotaur: My Queen, I think they are preparing to attack.
Witch: I won’t give them the satisfaction of being the ones to call the Charge!
Witch: (New Panel, The Witch is close in the shot but you can see Josh and his men in the distance on the top of the Hill) Alright men!
Josh: (in the same shot but from the distant hill distance) Charge!
Witch: Damn it! Well, if anyone asks, you all heard me say it first!
The Chronicles of Joshua part 10
(Shot 1 A huge panel…possibly 3 panels worth or at least 2 showing both sides running at each other simultaneously. Josh riding a Centaur, Minotaurs, griffons flying over head plus many more, all about to collide with each other.)
(Shot 2, they collide, Josh firing his shotgun at a Minotaur (No Blood but impact), A gryphon’s rock crushing a dwarf, a Gargoyle taking down a Gryphon , Jesus lion wrestling with a Polar Bear and a wolf simultaneously and a Minotaur’s Axe knocking a Centaur off its hooves.)
(Shot 3, cuts to the white witch’s side. A panicked dwarf reports to the Witch with a Minotaur right behind him.)
Dwarf: My Queen, they’re more powerful than we had first anticipated, what do we do?
Witch: That’s just too bad. I guess we had better load the Dwarf-launchers then?
Dwarf: No, but… there must be another…
Shot 4, that same dwarf that was talking to the Witch is being dragged away by the Minotaur that was standing behind him)
Witch: Load the Dwarf-Launchers!
Minotaur: He he, Dwarf going to go splat now.
(Shot 5, a line of Catapults loaded with scared, tied up Dwarfs, Tim Dwarf still made of stone in one of them)
Witch: (off shot) Fire!
(Shot 6, the air over our heroes is filled with screaming and frightened dwarfs and stone-dwarf Tim sailing forward as well)
(Shot 7, aftermath, Several Dwarfs come crashing down around our heroes. You can see one stuck in a tree in the distance; one crashed head-first into the ground and is kicking his legs because he’s stuck, one actually lands on a Centaur’s face, and Tim Dwarf crushes the Wolf that was fighting with Jesus. Both the Polar Bear and Jesus Lion look surprised.)
(Shot 8, Back to the Witch)
Witch: Did that work?
Witch: Christ, I guess it’s up to me to deal with, well, Christ. Polar Bears, Mush!
Shot 9 The Witch driving her sled through the battlefield with an evil grin.
Witch: Wait until they get a load of me!
Polar Bear (while running and pulling the sled): Hehe, load.
The Chronicles of Joshua part 11
The Witch, still riding the Polar Bear Sled is right behind Tumnus, who is running towards Josh and Jesus in a panic.
Tumnus: Josh, the Witch is coming… run!
Shot 2 The Witch stabs Tumnus with her wand, turning him to stone. Josh looks pissed and Jesus looks annoyed at Josh for swearing.
Witch: Friend of yours?!
Josh: You Bitch!
Shot3: The Polar Bears slam right into Jesus, knocking him back as the Witch looks at him manically.
Shot 4: Shows landing on his butt and the Witch stepping off her sled.
Witch: Well, well. If it isn’t the chosen one, it would seem that the only things you’ve been chosen to do are suck and die.
Josh: Bring it on you big, nasty, David Bowie looking tranny.
Shot 5: Josh tries to fire his shotgun at the Witch but the Witch knocks his gun off target with her sword and punches Josh in the face
Shot 6: Josh blocks the Witches sword that is coming at him from above by holding his gun up with both hands and kicks the Witch in the crotch.
Shot 7: The Witch is knocked back a bit by the groin kick and resorts to using one of her minions as a human shield as Josh fires at her, hitting the helpless old, black dwarf minion.
Black Dwarf Minion: And I was only 2 days from retirement!
Shot 8: The Witch throws her now dead Minion off of herself and into Josh, knocking Josh backwards and knocking his gun away.
Witch: Here, Catch!
Shot 9 The Witch looms over Josh with her wand in hand, preparing to strike. Josh looks up at her.
Witch: Say your prayers!
Josh: Good idea! Dear heavenly father, please send your son to interject in this fight so I don’t get turned into a lawn ordainment.
Shot 10: Jesus comes out of nowhere, tackling the Witch to the ground.
Josh: Thank you, Lord.
Shot 11: Jesus stands over the Witch, who is now defenseless.
Jesus: Your rule is at an end, my Queen.
Witch: And what exactly are you going to do to stop me? Remember Jesus, turn the other cheek!
Jesus: Well, it might not be the Christian thing to do but…
Shot 12: Jesus moves at the Witch to bite her head (The same way that Aslan does in the movie)
The Chronicles of Joshua part 12
Shot 1: Josh looks grossed out by Jesus’ actions as Jesus wipes some blood off his face.
Jesus: Did I get any on my cheek?
Josh: That was, without a doubt, the most revolting thing I’ve seen since “2 girls, 1 cup”.
Shot 2: Jesus walks over and puts his hands on Tumnus will Josh watches him.
Josh: Poor little guy, he sacrificed his life to warn me that the Witch was coming, why would he do that when I had been so horrible to him?
Jesus: Tumnus was your friend; a friend looks out for you, protects you and has your back… even if you don’t always have his.
Josh: Can’t we save him?
Jesus: Who do you think you’re talking to here?
Shot 4: A glowing light surrounds Tumnus as Jesus continues to lay his hands on him. Josh eyes light up.
Josh: Sweet Jesus!
Jesus: Don’t mention it.
Tumnus: Hope I didn’t miss anything too awesome?
Josh: Other than me beating down the White Witch and then Jesus biting into her head like an apple, nah, you didn’t miss a thing.
Jesus: Well, it’s over, you helped defeat the White Witch and save Narnia…I think it’s time to get you home.
Josh: So, what do I have to do; pass through a mystical doorway, stand up to the Goblin King…tap my shoes together?
Jesus: No, but you did have the power to go home the entire time.
Shot 7: Jesus smiles at Josh and Josh reaches into his back pocket.
Jesus: You’ve got friends out there; if you want their help to get back…you just had to ask them.
Josh: How could I have been so stupid? I just have to get Jordan to put me back on his contacts and…
Shot 8: Josh pulls his broken phone from his back pocket.
Josh: It must have got smashed in the fight, great, now I’ll never get back home.
The Chronicles of Joshua part 13
Shot 1: Tumnus puts his hand on Josh’s back, in a “There there” sort of way. Jesus is smiling in the background, listening to Josh regret his bad deeds.
Tumnus: Don’t give up; it’s going to be alright.
Josh: Thanks Tum-Tum, I just feel awful…I might never get the chance to tell my friends how I really feel about them.
Shot 2: This is kind of an interesting shot; it can either be 2 shots that have Jesus in one shot and Jordan’s office in another or somehow merge Jesus (still in Narnia with Jordan in his office). Either way, what needs to happen is have a close up on Jesus blowing, which causes a breeze to go into Jordan’s Office thru his open window, knocking a photo (No frame so it glides down like a feather) off of one of Jordan’s higher shelves and down to his lap.
Shot 3: It shows Jordan looking at the photo of Himself and Josh doing something mean to the New Guy but looking very happy about it (I was thinking Josh and Jordan holding the New Guy up by his legs over a toilet, water dripping down his face and hair as Josh and Jordan are smiling at the camera).
Shot 4: Jordan adds Josh back to his contact list.
Shot 5: Cuts back to Narnia with Josh, Tumnus and Jesus. Josh is starting to disappear.
Josh: What the heck! Why am I going all, Marty McFly?
Jesus: You’re passing back into your own world, Josh.
Tumnus: You’re going to come back and visit, right?
Josh: Absolutely, but why not this time, you come visit me?
Shot 6: Josh is almost completely gone, Tumnus is looking sad as Jesus attempts to remind Josh of the lessons of this comic.
Jesus: Don’t forget the lessons you learned here today Josh, without them, you will lead a shallow and lonely life!
Josh: I won’t forget, I won’t…
Shot 7 A very dark room, Josh is in a Janitorial closet inside Imagine Industries. He has a yellow mop bucket over his head.
Josh: (Saying his line very hazy, like he is waking up from a dream) I won’t forget Jesus, I promise, I won’t…
Shot 8: Josh takes the bucket off his head and looks around the room with a confused look on his face.
Shot 9: Josh kicks the door open entering a hallway in the office. Scarring the crap out of The New Guy was walking down the hall.
Josh: I’m Back, Baby!
Shot 10: Josh grabs the New Guy and picks him up. Josh looks deranged and New Guy looks frightened.
Josh: Tum Tum!
New Guy: You’re scarring me, sir
Josh: I don’t care if you are big dork with stupid glasses, I love you!
Shot 11: Josh burst through Jordan’s door; Jordan looks very worried while Josh is pointing at Jordan, menacingly.
Jordan: Hey buddy…finally wake up?
Shot 12: Josh Embraces Jordan, Jordan still looks a little surprised.
Josh: I missed you
Jordan: I missed you too man, what took you so long?
Shot 13: This one will be 3 panels wide shot so the whole comic would take up the space of a 15 panel comic. It will have the characters from Narnia all looking off into the distances (Epically, of course) still in Narnia. I want this shot to be a great farewell shot to this Arc.
Josh: I was having the strangest dream…
So, yeah… that would be pretty much impossible now 🙂
Anyway, if you have any MORE DOABLE ideas for our character’s adventures, please share them in the comments. I hope you loved, “The Chronicles Of Joshua” Arc and can see it like I can when I read it. The way it was meant to look, as if Sale had drawn it himself! Or, you know, as a Cartoon Show 🙂