How Are Hobbits Like Ants?

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Jordan | April 16th, 2011

Ground Control To General Gothmog AKA No Flights Into Mordor

Thanks to long-time reader and all around awesome guy, Adam Carr for providing the concept for this comic and thanks to Sale for punching up my fairly dry final draft. Originally, Frodo was meant to be the standard, straight Elijah Wood version of ‘the Frod-meister’ and deliver the bland-ass line, “You’re mine now, Sauron”. Instead, Sale went with lunatic, cartoon Frodo and I couldn’t be happier about it.

…And yes, I AM looking up the skirt of a partially dismembered William Wallace in the first panel and no, I don’t know why! Any other questions? 🙂

Transcripts

English transcript submitted by Jordan on

18 Comments

The skirt thing was all i was interested in, and it was answered. GET OUT OF MY HEAD JORDAN.


You know. I always wonderd why they never just flew in… Good to know!

As for the skirt? Can’t a guy be a little curious?


There are far too many things that could have gone wrong if they were to try to fly the ring in.

Odds, are the ring would have corrupted those in the fellowship, and some ass hat would have knocked the ring bearer off their eagle while trying to take the ring and they both plummet into the foundries of Isengard. Sauron would have definitely seen them coming and sent the Witch-king of Angmar with his Beregond to bash all of their skulls in, they did not have any women in the fellowship to sword him in the face.

The movies do a very poor job of explaining the scale of power the ring has, it’s not just an invisibility trinket. All of Saurons power and corruption is infused in the ring, it’s the freakin’ nuclear reactor of evil. As soon as the ring is destroyed, BOOOOM, Melt down!… no more corruption, no more blind hatred toward men, hobbits, trees, and puppies. All the creatures, orcs, trolls, wargs, and shrieking beregon all of a sudden are caught wondering where the hell am I, why am I out in the sunlight, F*ck this.. they have swords….screw you guys, i’m going home! That is why the eagles were able to decimate the beregond at the very end. Without the power of the ring the big shrieking mofos are nothing but chiwawas with wings.

So yes, one can fly into Mordor, only after the ring is destroyed.

P.s. I loved the comic, and the art, and the punch line “Any other questions!” That’s good stuff.

Now you guys should make a comic about the future, where nobody knows what books are.


I love your explanation of just how powerful The One Ring is. I’m embarrassed to say I’ve only watched the films so I sort of got the sense the ring wasn’t all that dangerous.

Glad you enjoyed the comic and I hope you keep reading us/commenting!


I wish all the guns in the world where taken away 🙁 So we could focus on more important things like sword fighting and how to kill each other using a heart punch!


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